The Compassionate Way to Change Your Habits

books confidence success Jan 10, 2023

We're all guilty of berating ourselves for not sticking to a plan. We loudly critique ourselves for not achieving a goal. The inner monologue goes something like, "You have no willpower! Why can't you just do the damn thing?! You slacked off and are unmotivated."

These horrible things that you say to yourself never provide motivation nor stimulus for improved action. They just make you miserable. So you vow to do better next time and pay lip service to giving yourself grace.

What's really important to make lasting change is to keep your self-talk positive. It's time to show the same compassion you show to your friends to YOURSELF.

Because it's the new year, you're likely focused on your goals. Yet, it's the actions and habits you take consistently that help you achieve your goals. The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi provides guidance on the compassionate way to change your habits. The book outlines "maps" that help you plan for situations where you may be tempted to self-sabotage...

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When You're an Introverted Parent and Your Child Isn't

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...or does it?

In the case of me and my daughter, we couldn't be more different. She is loud, goofy, hates reading, and can't stand to be alone. I am quiet, reserved, a total bookworm, and love my alone time.

While our differences may seem typical on the surface, it's completely affected how I parent. I regularly tell her how loud she is. I have to bribe her with iPad time to get her reading homework done. I have to constantly remind her to keep eating during meals because she will make a game out of anything that's sitting on the table.

Parenting is challenging. And it's even more exhausting when you're an introverted parent and your child isn't. It's a battle that results in feeling stressed and out of control for the parent, and feeling unseen for the child.

Right now, you may not even be aware that you're trying to get your child to be quieter because that's what YOU desire. Sometimes you have to hear something many times until it lands...

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How Introverts Make Friends

books introversion Nov 03, 2022

Seriously though...

Three years ago I wrote in my journal, "How do you make friends as an adult and introvert?"

I've been pondering that question ever since.

I work from home and love being home so much that I really have to make an effort to even leave my house. So when I heard about the book, Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make - and Keep - Friends, I knew I had to read it. And it deeply resonated.

Marisa Franco, author and psychologist, explains that there are 3 types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant. These attachment styles show up in all relationships, not just romantic ones. If friendship is hard, this is enlightening information.

There's a quiz in the book you can take to determine which type you are. I love any sort of assessment that can tell me more about my personality! Turns out, I'm the avoidant type. Avoidant attachment means you think you don't need anyone and keep others at a distance. You subconsciously push others away and aren't...

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5 Ways to Reduce Head Chatter

books introversion stress Oct 19, 2022

Introvert is almost synonymous with overthinking. Which is why the book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, immediately grabbed my attention simply when I saw the title. I highly recommend it because it delivered with scientifically backed yet practical ideas for quieting that persistent voice. It's written by Ethan Kross who is a professor at the University of Michigan.

We always want the voice in our head to speak kindly and quietly, but so often it gets caught in a negative loop. The voice exists to protect us...from saber-toothed tigers. It's now one those slow to evolve parts of our brain that still serves a purpose like sensing real danger but is stuck in unnecessary hyperdrive.

We need a way (or several) to manage the negative voice. So here are 5 ways to reduce head chatter according to the book.

1) Journal - Writing expressively about your feelings about a negative situation is a great way to clear the mind clutter. If you have a tendency...

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Top 10 Personal Development Books for Introverts

books introversion Aug 30, 2022

I'm a book lover and lean heavily towards personal development/self help books. For the past few years, I've been using books to discover who I am and understand my personality. While I've known since 7th grade that I'm an introvert, there is so much more to personality, mindset, and behavior. These books have all been part of my self-discovery journey and I hope they will help you too. So without further ado, I recommend reading these top 10 personal development books for introverts!

by Vanessa Van Edwards

This book is dedicated to anyone who feels socially awkward. (Raises hand) It had lots of good examples of how to read people and to make yourself more attractive in social situations. Not in the pretty sense, but in the interesting sense.

My big takeaway was that even if you don't agree with something the person you're talking to said, you can still be curious about it and ask what it is that they like about the subject. For example, I often go to networking meetings...

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