The Power of "It's Possible"

While I was tucking my daughter into bed, both she and I had epiphanies in our mindsets. They were so powerful for both of us that I have to share how several lessons combined to make for a beautiful mindset shift.

After reading the book, Don’t Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen, I just knew that my daughter (who is a chronic overthinker) needed to hear the advice. So I asked her if she’d like for me to read the book to her and she agreed.

We were discussing the section that explains that if we always think the same thoughts after the same event, we repeat the same experience over and over again. But if we think different thoughts - removing the stories we associate with the event - then we have a new experience.

This was distilled into a formula:
Event + Same Thinking = Same Experience (perception of reality)
Event + New Thoughts = New Experience

In my daughter’s case, she has been stressing about gymnastics. Specifically, the back handspring. Her most dominant thought about doing a back handspring was, “I’m going to get hurt.” She also thought that she would get a low score from the judges.

Here’s what my daughter’s formula looked like:
Back handspring + I’m going to get hurt = Scared and nervous about doing a back handspring, aka. major anxiety about gymnastics meet

As we talked through her current thought, I suggested this upgraded thought, “It’s possible to do a good back handspring.”

The magic in the new thought is that she believed it. It was a possibility that she could do a decent back handspring in her competition.

The wording is super important. We didn’t decide on, “I will do a good back handspring.”
We didn’t decide on, “I won’t get hurt doing a back handspring.”
We didn’t choose those thoughts because she didn’t believe them.
She only believed it was possible.

And this is where my epiphany from so many of the self-help books I read happened.

I had also recently read, The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod. In the chapter that explains how to create affirmations, the author shares that affirmations only work when you believe them. You don’t just create fluffy, feel-good, platitudes.

So when my daughter asked if she should write down, “I’m a good gymnast” as part of her new thoughts, I said no. Because (sadly) she doesn’t truly believe that…yet.

When I told my husband about the new thought: It’s possible to do a good back handspring, he liked it. He said that it didn’t put any pressure on her to perform. A very poignant thought on the eve of her competition. She already puts so much pressure on herself. (Perfectionists - can you relate?)

I’m happy to report that my girl did a decent back handspring in her competition and didn’t get hurt. In fact, she scored a 9.25 on her floor routine which tied her personal best!

And while her performance was out of my control, I’m claiming my part in her success. Shout out to all the moms who coach and give pep talks to their kids!

I want to know — what is your event? That thing that is neutral, but holds so much power in your mind due to your thoughts. Can you shift the thought to something you believe?