From Overworked to Overjoyed: reclaiming your time and reconnecting your values

Are you finding yourself working nights, weekends, holidays, and even during your precious vacation time? Does the weight of constant work drain your energy and leave you feeling overwhelmed? If so, you're not alone. Many driven, ambitious women struggle with this very issue. I'm going to share the three-step process I use with my clients that will help you shift from a state of constant overwork to one of genuine joy and fulfillment.

You might assume this is all about setting boundaries, and while boundaries are crucial, there's a foundational step we need to address first. Effective boundaries stem from a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Step 1: Silence Your Inner Critic

The first step is to confront and transform the negative narratives your inner mean girl whispers. We all have these ingrained stories, often rooted in childhood, that dictate our behaviors. Perhaps you tell yourself, "If I'm not constantly productive, I'm unworthy," or "If I'm not always working, I'm lazy," or “If I’m not helpful, I’m unlovable.” These subconscious beliefs drive our actions, often leading to overwork and burnout.

Before you can establish healthy boundaries, you must challenge these limiting beliefs. Recognize that these stories are echoes from the past, often shaped by our childhood role models. Start by identifying the evidence that contradicts these narratives. Rewrite these beliefs to align with your authentic self, allowing your actions to reflect your true values.

Step 2: Align Your Values with Your Goals

Overwork often disconnects us from our core values and personal goals. We become so focused on serving others or adhering to perceived expectations that we lose sight of what truly matters. To reclaim your joy, reconnect with your values. What do you cherish? Travel, family time, novelty, hobbies?

Once you identify your values, align them with your goals. When your actions are driven by your values, you experience alignment, fulfillment, and joy. This alignment transforms your work from a relentless pursuit of productivity for the sake of worthiness to a purposeful journey guided by your deepest values.

Step 3: Cultivate Tiny, Sustainable Habits

Setting lofty goals is a great starting point, but without consistent action, they remain distant aspirations. To bridge the gap, cultivate small, sustainable habits that support your goals. If your goal is to reduce your work hours, start with tiny, manageable habits that fit seamlessly into your schedule.

Consider these examples:

• Mindful Lunch Break: Take a 20-minute lunch break away from all screens. Leave your phone and computer behind, and nourish yourself with a healthy meal while giving your mind a true break.
• Morning Walk: After dropping off the kids, take a brief 5-10 minute walk around the block. This increases circulation, boosts mood-enhancing hormones, and exposes you to sunlight, which regulates your sleep-wake cycle.

The key is to start small. Your inner mean girl will likely urge you to do more, but resist the temptation. Overburdening yourself leads to burnout, not lasting change. Instead, focus on building tiny, consistent habits that gradually transform your life.

Embrace the Journey

Shifting from overwork to joy is a journey, not a destination. By silencing your inner mean girl, aligning your values with your goals, and cultivating tiny, sustainable habits, you can reclaim your time, energy, and joy. Remember, you are worthy of rest, fulfillment, and a life that reflects your true values.