Top 10 Personal Development Books for Introverts

books introversion Aug 30, 2022

I'm a book lover and lean heavily towards personal development/self help books. For the past few years, I've been using books to discover who I am and understand my personality. While I've known since 7th grade that I'm an introvert, there is so much more to personality, mindset, and behavior. These books have all been part of my self-discovery journey and I hope they will help you too. So without further ado, I recommend reading these top 10 personal development books for introverts!

by Vanessa Van Edwards

This book is dedicated to anyone who feels socially awkward. (Raises hand) It had lots of good examples of how to read people and to make yourself more attractive in social situations. Not in the pretty sense, but in the interesting sense.

My big takeaway was that even if you don't agree with something the person you're talking to said, you can still be curious about it and ask what it is that they like about the subject. For example, I often go to networking meetings in the morning where everyone is drinking coffee. I don't like coffee and somehow feel the need to tell people about it. So we don't find common ground right off the bat. I can easily switch to asking what their favorite blend is, then start shifting the conversation toward another topic. Finding common ground - or at the very least, not disagreeing - is important to being likeable.

How to Do the Work
by Dr. Nicole LePera

I've never been to a therapist, but imagine this book is what it's like when visiting a therapist. The author is a psychologist.

My big takeaway is emotional trauma is a real thing and traumatic experiences in childhood play into how you behave as an adult. I don't remember most of my childhood before 5th grade and the author doesn't remember a lot of her childhood either. Apparently, that's due to emotionally unavailable parents. I wasn't taught how to handle emotions, so I just buried them down...along with all of my memories.

In fact, many of us aren't taught emotional regulation, so we develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. This book unravels all of that.

The Mountain Is You
by Brianna Wiest

This book is all about self-sabotage. It discusses the various ways we sabotage ourselves, largely due to avoiding discomfort and negative emotions. It fit right in with the other psychology-based books on this list. It touches on emotional trauma and releasing the past. It talks about building a better future and creating healthy coping mechanisms.

I liked that this book was a complement to so much of what I was reading about psychology, but focused specifically on what self-sabotage looks like. Sometimes we don't even recognize the patterns we're in.

The High 5 Habit
by Mel Robbins

I geek out on habits and the title of this book caught my eye. The focus is about how you can speak more kindly to yourself. It's not all rah-rah, pump you up talk though. There's a lot of science-backed techniques that help your brain - more specifically, the reticular activating system (RAS) aka your filter.

I really loved the down to earth, practical advice and felt good reading it.

Atomic Habits
by James Clear

And speaking of habits, this book is the absolute best to understand how to create new habits. "Atomic" means tiny. So this book explains how small your actions need to be in order to actually stick to a new habit. But there is also a large focus on becoming the person you want to be. Habits aren't based on the how as much as the WHO. Again, getting into the psychology of behavior.

Personality Isn't Permanent
by Dr. Benjamin Hardy

This book opened my eyes to what personality really is and introduced me to the 5 personality characteristics that are generally accepted among psychologists today. While the Myers-Briggs indicator is still widely used, it's not science-backed. The author points out to readers that focusing on becoming your future self is what changes your personality. Your personality is chosen based on your goals and habits. There is discussion on letting go of the past and healing trauma, but the key is defining your future.

by Susan Cain 

 Let's just call this book the introvert's bible. It's so validating.

Admittedly, it's a bit of a dry read, but worth it to understand that introverts have an important place in this world.

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
by Dr. Joe Dispenza

As someone who kinda struggles with woo and mystical things, I found it reassuring that quantum physics can explain how to tap into universal energy. The book is heavy on science in the beginning and then gets easier in part 2. Much of the book is dedicated to explaining meditation and cultivating a meditation practice.

by Dr. Carol Dweck

This book explains the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. While we all have some fixed and some growth, I realized that I have more of a fixed mindset. A lot of that goes back to how I was raised. As I continue to read personal development books and do the transformation work, I am shifting into more of a growth mindset.

The author has done a lot of work with teachers and how teaching our kids the principles of growth mindset can set them up for a more successful life.

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