Vulnerability is the Untapped Emotion Introverts Desperately Need to Succeed

There is a stereotype that plagues many introverts:  that introverts are aloof.  And you have to peel off many layers of protection before revealing the tender core of an introvert.  Many introverts just don't "do" emotions.  Yet, being a human means experiencing emotions.

Ignoring our emotions is a protection mechanism.  It's also taking the easy way out rather than dealing with hard things.

Introverts typically want to blend in.  Speaking up and standing out means judgement, anxiety, and stress.  So it's easier to stay in the shadows where you can't experience unwanted emotions.

The ISTJs, Enneagram 1s, and perfectionists can agree that we tend to believe that vulnerability is weakness.  In fact, any emotion that pulls on the heartstrings often gets pushed aside.

Introverts also have big dreams.  Big dreams require courage and confidence to step outside of your comfort zone.  So how do you put your tendencies aside and put yourself out there?  Get comfortable with vulnerability.

As Brene Brown says in Dare to Lead, "Once we start to build vulnerability skills, we can start to develop the other skill sets."  So we must start with vulnerability.

Ways to Express Vulnerability

Being vulnerable opens you up to potential hurt which is why it is avoided.  Knowing that it is risky and taking action anyway is a display of courage.  The following are simple ways to practice being vulnerable.

Talk about your hardships.  Everyone has experienced low points in their life.  Shame prevents you from talking about it.  Yet, you take back power when you start verbalizing the trauma.  Start with telling a trusted friend, coach, or therapist.

Allow yourself to cry.  Is there anything more vulnerable than crying?  It's a healthy way to rid your body of stress, negative emotions, and toxic thoughts.  Internalizing emotions and stuffing them down only adds extra stress to the situation.  Hiding emotions doesn't make them go away.  Plus, there is building evidence that buried emotions can cause physical pain.

Ask for help.  A limiting assumption is that you must figure out everything on your own.  Control is a basic human need.  But when you try to control things that aren't in your control it adds unnecessary stress!

Post a selfie.  So many introverts struggle with this level of exposure.  It's the fear of negative comments and the belief that you're not enough that prevents action on this.  You know you can't be physically injured by posting a picture of yourself.  So it's a matter of telling your brain this is not cause for the fight or flight response.

Apply to be a podcast guest, guest blogger, speaker at a conference.  Applying means you're susceptible to rejection.  It's how you handle rejection that determines your path.  If you equate rejection with shame, i.e., "I'm not good enough.," then you'll likely stop trying.  If you say, "I'm disappointed and I'll be okay.," you'll apply again.

Being vulnerable is uncomfortable and you have to lean into that.  "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, and joy."  Think about it - do you trust someone more when they've been vulnerable?

That income you desire; that job you want; that deep relationship you crave...all hinge on how vulnerable you can be.  Start letting people see the real, authentic you.