How to Shift Your Mindset When You're Full of Self Doubt

I love reading self help books because the insights they provide are like therapy. I find such value in understanding how our minds work. In 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do by Amy Morin, I learned that the negative self-talk that infiltrates our minds actually has categories.

These were a-ha moments for me and I think you'll recognize some of these as well. We all fall prey to chastising ourselves, but it's something we can get better at. It takes awareness first. Having the awareness that you're doing it allows you the opportunity to course correct. You can shift your mindset to more positive.

When you're not as consistent with your goals as you had promised yourself, it's important to say what you really want to happen; not what you don't want. Speaking negatively invites negativity. Speaking positively attracts what you actually want. That's because your thoughts become your reality. And self doubt can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So when self doubt starts to creep in and the mean girl in your head starts to chatter, here are some kinder things to say instead.

1. Avoid all or nothing thinking
Instead of saying, I'm a failure, say, "Failure is an event, not a personality characteristic."

2. Stop overgeneralizing
Instead of saying, I can't do anything right / I have no willpower / Everybody can do this except for me, say, "I learned that I need a new approach."

3. Don't mind-read
Instead of saying, My partner didn't believe I could stick with it, say, "I don't know what my partner thinks because I haven't shared my goals or I haven't asked his/her opinion."

4. Stop catastrophizing
Instead of saying, I'll never be able to achieve this goal, say "I will take as many small steps as necessary to realize this goal."

5. Avoid fortune-telling
Instead of saying, If I try again, I'll still fail, say "I'm willing to see what the future holds for me."

6. Reduce overthinking
Having enough information to get started is important, but thinking you need to plan more and do more research for your next attempt delays progress. Take a small action.

7. Don't compare
Instead of thinking that your colleague has it all figured out and you're somehow behind, say "I don't have my solution yet. I am making progress at my own pace."


We all have those days when we just need a little pep talk! These reminders may be all you need to feel better. And feeling good is priceless:)

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